you owe jonathan lee riches money

I’d never heard of Johnathan Lee Riches until I stumbled upon his recent filing of a $63 quintillion lawsuit against some football player named Michael Vick.

Judging by the list of past defendants; you’re probably next.

According to Wikipedia Johathan Lee Riches is an inmate serving time in South Carolina for a boring identity theft charge.  What makes him notable is his string of obviously sane lawsuits filed over the last couple of years.

From a 2006 filing:

he has made himself newsworthy by filing in 2006 a civil rights lawsuit naming George W. Bush et al as defendants. The “et al” list continues for 56 more pages and includes such entities as the survivors of the Holocaust, Pizza Hut, Three Mile Island, Paris Hilton, Dennis Hopper, Mount Rushmore, the Ming Dynasty, Mein Kampf, “Various Buddhist Monks”, Medieval Times, The Da Vinci Code, and the planet Pluto

According to Riches, they all owe him money.

In the Vick case, JLR

claims that Vick stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to “use the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

In the complaint, Riches scrawls that “Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes.”

If he wins the lawsuit, Riches says he wants the $63 quintillion delivered in gold and silver to the front gate of the Williamsburg Federal Correctional Facility in South Carolina

Well duh. 

via daily press, wikipedia