“Bananas”.  This was the word the tattooed checker used to describe the effects of Spike energy drink as he rang up the 8oz can.  He then warned of the ‘massive crash’ I could look forward to, apparently not unlike ‘withdrawal from drugs’.  Knowing the battle hardened soldiers working the front lines @ Argonaut liquors have seen, and probably tried just about everything, illicit substance wise, I was more than a little intrigued. 

Thankfully, only half of his predictions came true.

Spike energy drink came onto my radar screen when I read a horrible review of it in Denver’s Westword newspaper several months ago.  The writer made the experience out to be so stomach-turningly awful it read like some anti-drug propaganda.  I immediately dismissed most of the outlandish claims; first because of the author’s propensity to exaggerate for comedic effect and second because my own tolerance of caffeine and assorted stimulants is quite high to say the least.

Spike energy drink needed to be put to the Cash test:  Two cans consumed over the course of two Saturdays.  Here’s how it went.

TASTE

I tried both flavors of Spike.  The original “Berry” flavor reminded me of cough syrup, yet somehow sweeter and thicker.  It was literally tough to get down.  The “Lime” flavor was marginally better, sort of a Gatorade on steroids with an extra kick of bitter.  Obviously, people consuming Spike arn’t seeking out an epicurian delight.  To that end, the flavor is tolerable.

EFFECT

In both cases, I followed the can’s recommendation and started with half a can.  Within 20 minutes, my arms felt warm and my brain seemed somehow clearer. The energy hit like a heat wave in my consciousness.  At the 30 minute mark, I finished the remaining half Spike and got to work.  That first Saturday, I took care of a pile of paperwork I’d been putting off for ages.  Sorting, organizing, opening, discarding, shredding, etc.  Repetitive, menial tasks seemed the perfect application of Spike’s strange stimulation.  During trips to the shredder, some frantic dancing supplemented my normal walk.  This was, how can I say it: involuntary.  Still, when I returned to the task at hand I felt focused and lucid.  I didn’t have any of the jitters that sometimes accompany large doses of coffee. 

The next Saturday, with a can of Spike lime coursing through my veins, I attempted to do some work on various business projects online.  This was slightly less successful.  The limited physical motion here found me making excuses to get up from my workstation; surrendering to an urge to dance and basically jump around my place.

This time out, I began to grind my teeth and clench my jaw.  This is a typical reaction to many, ahem ‘hardcore stimulants’.  I went to my medicine cabinet and took two Magnesium tablets, which eventually stopped the grinding.  Next time I want to get “Spiked”, I’ll be sure to preload with Magnesium an hour before.

On a positive note, I did not experience a massive ‘crash’ either time.  After about 2.5 hours of stimulation, the effects gradually dissipated and I took a nap.  On waking, I felt back to my baseline energy without any complications.

CONCLUSION

Spike energy drink is billed as a nutritional supplement and recommended for workouts and the like.  This seems dangerous to say the least; the combination of its hardcore stimulation and a cardio workout sounds like a recipe for disaster.  For an interesting pick-me-up to enhance boring chores around the house though, Spike gets the job done.

Read more about Spike here

Rating: B