Comments on: Sex: Kiss and Tell http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/ Advice for a generation of men raised by women Fri, 05 Dec 2008 09:21:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Details Magazine in 60 seconds at Urban Monarch http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1129 Details Magazine in 60 seconds at Urban Monarch Thu, 02 Nov 2006 23:10:19 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1129 [...] Most canadians would talk about their salary before their love life. (Maybe they need to read my sex column) [...] [...] Most canadians would talk about their salary before their love life. (Maybe they need to read my sex column) [...]

]]> By: raquel http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1021 raquel Thu, 26 Oct 2006 20:54:22 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1021 Sharing your past works for some people and doesn't work for others. I know I've been dumped several times at the slightest mention of my past or of an ex. I used to be very open with my past, but then stopped because of that "competition" that would arise pretty much every single time. My last relationship was a very intimate one. We shared a lot and were open with each other. I don't feel either one of us were intimidated by the other's past. I think it takes a level of security and maturity to be able to recognize your partner will have a past and it's ok. I believe you have to be open with each other, but ast Greg mentioned, only when intimacy is developed. Sharing your past works for some people and doesn’t work for others. I know I’ve been dumped several times at the slightest mention of my past or of an ex. I used to be very open with my past, but then stopped because of that “competition” that would arise pretty much every single time. My last relationship was a very intimate one. We shared a lot and were open with each other. I don’t feel either one of us were intimidated by the other’s past. I think it takes a level of security and maturity to be able to recognize your partner will have a past and it’s ok. I believe you have to be open with each other, but ast Greg mentioned, only when intimacy is developed.

]]> By: Bruno http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1014 Bruno Thu, 26 Oct 2006 17:18:59 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1014 I still like to keep it private and don't tell the details. You can't get anything good from telling your friends. And Catherine, I don't agree with you about sharing your past. I believe it's not such a good idea because it creates competition. Communication and advice, yes; past, no. At least that's how it works for me. "Women talk about sex, and they talk about it in detail. The only time it’s not talked about it, is when that act has become illicit." Couldn't said that better. I still like to keep it private and don’t tell the details. You can’t get anything good from telling your friends.

And Catherine, I don’t agree with you about sharing your past. I believe it’s not such a good idea because it creates competition. Communication and advice, yes; past, no. At least that’s how it works for me.

“Women talk about sex, and they talk about it in detail. The only time it’s not talked about it, is when that act has become illicit.”

Couldn’t said that better.

]]> By: Greg http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1000 Greg Wed, 25 Oct 2006 22:19:51 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-1000 Catherine, I agree completely with sharing your past with a partner, but not till we've reached a level of intimacy. It takes a lot of trust to share everything. Raquel, I think the bragging comes from who you are as a person and who your friends are. I also like the idea of running it by your partner as to whats between you two. Though I think I would have a hard time being with a partner with a lot of boundries. Catherine,

I agree completely with sharing your past with a partner, but not till we’ve reached a level of intimacy. It takes a lot of trust to share everything.

Raquel,

I think the bragging comes from who you are as a person and who your friends are. I also like the idea of running it by your partner as to whats between you two. Though I think I would have a hard time being with a partner with a lot of boundries.

]]> By: raquel http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-998 raquel Wed, 25 Oct 2006 21:05:38 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-998 After thinking about this topic, I agree with Greg in the sense that this is an issue of respect. If you respect someone, you're not going to go defame their name and reputation because you were able to get a piece of ass from them. I've been in both positions before (the bragger and the one who has been bragged about) and it's not fun in either spot. Someone's feelings get hurt in the process. I completely agree that you should be able to express yourself and your experiences with friends, but it has to not come off as bragging or that "look who I just boned the other night." Coming from a girl, it's a little difficult thinking that when a guy is talking to his friends about what you've done sexually together, it isn't coming off as bragging. Maybe it's that stereotype that all men brag about their sexual exploits and it's a matter of conquest. I know it is not the case with a lot of men, but there is that stereotype still out there. You may hurt someone if you don't know how they're going to react if you share with your friends what you did. Your best bet would be discussing this with your partner and sense how they feel about the situation. After thinking about this topic, I agree with Greg in the sense that this is an issue of respect. If you respect someone, you’re not going to go defame their name and reputation because you were able to get a piece of ass from them. I’ve been in both positions before (the bragger and the one who has been bragged about) and it’s not fun in either spot. Someone’s feelings get hurt in the process.

I completely agree that you should be able to express yourself and your experiences with friends, but it has to not come off as bragging or that “look who I just boned the other night.” Coming from a girl, it’s a little difficult thinking that when a guy is talking to his friends about what you’ve done sexually together, it isn’t coming off as bragging. Maybe it’s that stereotype that all men brag about their sexual exploits and it’s a matter of conquest. I know it is not the case with a lot of men, but there is that stereotype still out there. You may hurt someone if you don’t know how they’re going to react if you share with your friends what you did. Your best bet would be discussing this with your partner and sense how they feel about the situation.

]]> By: Catherine http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-997 Catherine Wed, 25 Oct 2006 20:53:30 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-997 When it comes to getting to know someone: It is good to tell your partner somethings about your sexual past. As it will give some insight as to what you may or may not like. Otherwise, it maybe frustrating to the other when their left guessing. When it comes to getting to know someone:

It is good to tell your partner somethings about your sexual past. As it will give some insight as to what you may or may not like. Otherwise, it maybe frustrating to the other when their left guessing.

]]> By: Greg http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-995 Greg Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:57:52 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-995 Ahhh Cash, I don't think someone could say they really knew you, if they didn't know you keep most things in confidence. I think it is a fine line between bragging and expression. For example, it could just be an experience you were really excited about and wanted to share it with someone. There is still that element of happiness and pride associated with it, but lacks the i'm telling you this so you think i'm cool aspect. We also agree on the asking your partner for advice. Communication about the sex you're having is great. I can also see the flipside of needing male advice on certain issues, say, maintaining state. Ahhh Cash, I don’t think someone could say they really knew you, if they didn’t know you keep most things in confidence.

I think it is a fine line between bragging and expression. For example, it could just be an experience you were really excited about and wanted to share it with someone. There is still that element of happiness and pride associated with it, but lacks the i’m telling you this so you think i’m cool aspect.

We also agree on the asking your partner for advice. Communication about the sex you’re having is great. I can also see the flipside of needing male advice on certain issues, say, maintaining state.

]]> By: cash http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-994 cash Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:48:07 +0000 http://www.urbanmonarch.com/sex-kiss-and-tell/#comment-994 I completely agree with you regarding ladies and this topic. For me personally however (as you know) I like to keep such things in confidence. There's just too many instances I've seen where people I've known HAVE used discussions like this as a form of bragging which isn't benefitting anyone; least of all the girl's reputation. I can see sharing something like this if you were asking a question about technique, but even there, the girl your with is in a far better ahem 'position' to give you advice than your friends would be. I completely agree with you regarding ladies and this topic. For me personally however (as you know) I like to keep such things in confidence.

There’s just too many instances I’ve seen where people I’ve known HAVE used discussions like this as a form of bragging which isn’t benefitting anyone; least of all the girl’s reputation.

I can see sharing something like this if you were asking a question about technique, but even there, the girl your with is in a far better ahem ‘position’ to give you advice than your friends would be.

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