learn club dance dvd : unintentional comedy

UM’s resident lord of the dance Greg is a chameleon at the club; he can go from doing tango to salsa to the robot in the course of a single song.  I have a few moves of my own, and at least in a traditional ‘nightclub’ setting, have no qualms about showing them off. 

For a lot of guys though, it’s easier to play wallflower and watch the action from afar.  “As seen on TV” style ‘learn to dance’ dvds to the rescue then, such as Learn Club Dance’s “Hip Hop Moves for the Club” product.

Although I completely support guy’s wishing to improve their socializing skillset (and just have more fun @ nightclubs in general), I have to admit the only reason I’m linking this thing is because of the FAQs.  I swear I almost snorted while reading these. 

First some clarification:

Are these dance moves similar to what I see in music videos?

…by learning the moves in this video you will get nonstop compliments and fantastic reactions - but this will be a positive “wow, that guy is an awesome dancer” reaction, rather than “Ok. We get it. You learned how to spin on your head. Now leave us alone and stop showing off.”

Next, a lesson in drunken female psychology:

I am not sure that I will be able to approach girls I’ve never met before on the dance floor even after learning all these moves.

One of the things you’ll learn from the instructors and from the girl commentaries is that almost all girls at the club want to be approached. That’s why they’re at the club. Think about it - do you go to a building packed with several hundred people only to hang out with the 3 friends you came with? Absolutely not, and they don’t either. If they wanted to talk amongst themselves they would have just gone to a coffehouse or a restaurant rather than a packed club where they can hardly hear each other.

And finally, a Q&A on how long it takes to get to the ‘good stuff’:

Wait - so I’m not supposed to walk up and start grinding with the girl?

Not really. Very rarely will a girl feel totally comfortable grinding with you right when you’ve approached. You have to first warm her up to you and just dance doing a few moves, with a foot or so between you two. Then you can spin her around a few times and keep dancing for another minute. You’ll see her smiling and then maybe you spin her full body around while moving her closer to you and place her hand on your neck, and then move into the grinding steps you’ll learn.

Yes!  Bring on the grinding steps!  Ole!
Learn Club Dance Instructional Videos