how to get revenge : a dish served cold in the cubicle

We’ve all been there. 

Sitting there, innocently surfing the internet (ahem, I mean ‘working’) in peace when suddenly a noise erupts from the cube next door. 

It starts with a vibration, and then explodes into a full on symphony of synthesized torment that sounds like a cross between an acid laced version of “Family Ties” and a porno soundtrack. 

It’s your thoughtless coworker’s cell phone, blasting away while they’re nowhere to be found.

In the past, you may have found yourself limited to snide remarks made underbreath or an occasional glare to get back at them.  Thanks to the wonder of the world wide web, now you have a better option.

Annoying Coworker is a site that allows you to send an anonymous email to the offending party.  You can write your own, or choose from one of the hundreds already sent.  Perusing the site’s archives is like reading a laundry list of my own pet peeves over the last 10 years or so. 

One favorite, amongst many:

“Ok, so you can produce off-spring…Big Deal! Some of us can keep our legs crossed, or at least our mouths shut. Must we hear about every little detail about there growing up during the morning tea-parties that go on for hours? Because quite frankly, we do not care. We do not want to see their pictures, or hear about the cute thing little “Jason” said yesterday, or about their first day at school, or the number of diaper changes and the cute little nuggets, or how clever you think your children are. They are not, just look at where they got there genes from…the apple doesn’t not fall far from the tree… So keep your stupid stories about your sad little children to yourself, any try to do some work like the rest of us.”

We’re not gonna take it.  No, we ain’t gonna take it.  We’re not gonna take it.. anymore.

-Cash

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