gin & squirt: walgreens’ crappy selection is the mother of invention

The downtown Denver Walgreens is good for a lot of things.  A moment of unintentional comedy as some lunatic homeless guy in a santa suit sings off key Christmas carols in the middle of June?  Sure.  Random encounters with suprisingly fetching young girls in the greeting card aisle circa 11PM on a Wednesday night?  Check.  Finally stocking my defacto favorite general cocktail mixer, Coke Zero?  Yep.

When it comes to finding a suitable mixer for the almost full handle of gin in my freezer however, Walgreens leaves a lot to be desired.

Picture the scene.  A recent weeknight.  I’ve finished my 1st sleep cycle.  I’ve completed some work and want to reward myself with a beverage or three.  Gin is in full effect, however, my fridge is tonicless.  The time:  10:41PM.  Rite Aid (my usual supplier for mixers) wisely closes at 9:00PM. I head to Walgreens.

Perusing the refrigerator case, I see all manner of energy drinks, juices, Vitamin Water, even milk and eggs.  Not a bottle of tonic in sight.  I press further, wandering up and down random aisles past assorted pet toys.  Expired snack cakes.  Duct tape.  I decide I’ll ’settle’ for Fresca, a high fructose corn syrup-free soda former UM wiseman Glenn turned me onto as a gin mixer last summer.  No dice. Undaunted, I return to the refridgerator hoping in vain to at least procure some club soda (desperate times call for desperate measures).  Not a Canada Dry in the house.  Good gawd. 

Dejected, I make one final pass down the ‘assorted reject 2 liters that arn’t good enough for the refrigerator proper’ aisle.  There I spot some strange, neon yellow looking bottle peeking out from behind some slighty smashed hot dog buns.  It beckons to me. 

Squirt. 

I find myself thinking two things.  First; I’ve never tried “Squirt”, but it sounds vaguely naughty.  Naughty of course = ‘fun’.   Second, I’m grateful that on this particular night, no one’s here to see me actually buy something called ‘Squirt’- however fun and or naughty it may prove to be.

The verdict:  Not half bad, but it’s pretty damn sweet.  I’m talking on the hot side of a thousand pixie stix sweet.  And that’s with a strong pour worthy of a drunken sherpa like myself.  I could barely taste the gin. 

I guess you could call Squirt a poor man’s Fresca.  Or you could call it.. eh, who cares.  It got the job done.

Have a good weekend everyone.  May the Squirt be with you.  And also with you.

Readers:  Gin mixers when you’re desperate?  Comment below.

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