Florida Skunk Ape

Recently while watching a rather strange bit of programming on Animal Planet I learned about the disputable existence of Florida swamp monster the Skunk Ape. I prefer the variant Stink Ape, providing both fun and accurate description when applied to the vagrant bartenders my temporary roommate charitably brings home to host on our extra couches.
The Skunk Ape is said to be a large hairy, bipedal mammal that calls the Florida Everglades home. They have (allegedly) been spotted as far north as Tallahassee and as far south as Lostman’s River. Large adult males are said to weigh in excess of 450 lbs and stand 6 to 7 feet tall with reddish or dark brown hair similar in appearance to an orangutan or gorilla. Some believe that this biped is part of the same species as the famed Bigfoot. A handful of sightings have also happened in the Western US, including Simi Valley, CA. In recent months, several sightings have been reported near the Withlacoochee River in Brooks County, GA, between Quitman and Valdosta. The smell of a Skunk Ape has been reported to be similar to rotten eggs or Hydrogen Sulfide.
Stink Ape!
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All set now. Thanks Ben!
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STINKY! Zach: put it in her butt.