d.i.y. : white trash christmas party
December 12, 2006 by Cash
Tis the season to be jolly, and if you’re bored to tears by the ‘traditional’ Christmas get togethers, I suggest throwing a White Trash Christmas party.
It’s the best way yet to celebrate the hee haw holidays!
About 6 years ago I was living in the middle of the sticks.
Literally, my place was at the end of a dirt road. I don’t know if it was the surroundings, or just chronic boredom that drove me to throw my first WT Christmas party, but in the years that followed I think I practically perfected this particular brand of soiree.
It’s pretty inexpensive as far as holiday parties go and it’s likely to be one that’s long remembered by everyone involved.
FOOD AND DRINK
This is WT people. So lose any illusions about high class vittles.
- Bud Light
- Jim Beam (or Wild Turkey)
- Corn dogs
- Pork Rinds
- International White Trash Buffet (one of my own creations: buy a few TV dinners of various cuisines. Chinese, Mexican, American. Cook them up and cut the portions into small bite size pieces. Stick a tooth pick in each piece. Voila, dinner is served)
SETTING THE MOOD
What’s a party without the proper vibe?
For a traditional White Trash Christmas party, there are a few essential ingredients:
On the TV (playing silently)
- A white trashy movie. (I suggest “Gummo” without a doubt the trashiest available)
- Taped episodes of Jerry Springer
- Girls gone wild videos
On the stereo
- Heavy metal (I borrowed a bunch of old cassette tapes some friends had and converted them to CD’s for the occasion)
- Any ridiculous southern flavored rock and roll you can find (think Lynyrd Skynyrd, Molly Hatchet, etc)
- In a pinch, Kid Rock
DRESS TO IMPRESS
- Hit the thrift store for some White Trash finery
- Anything stone washed, stained, or blue collar is perfect
- Mullet wigs, though optional, really take your look over the top
ACTIVITIES
This is what will set your White Trash Party apart.
GUESS THE FORTY
- Have a few 40oz of beer onhand, chilling in the fridge inside paper bags.
- Have people sample them (I suggest pouring everyone a bit in small plastic cups, but if you’re really trashin it up, just pass the brown bag around).
- Whoever guesses correctly gets a prize (I suggest picking up some treasures at your local $1 store)
BOBBING FOR WEINERS
- In a large bowl, combine water and cocktail weiners.
- Have a second empty bowl sitting nearby
- Set a timer or watch the clock for 30 seconds.
- The person who can move the most weiners, without using their hands, from one bowl to the other in 30 seconds wins (again, get some ‘prizes’ at your local thrift or $1 store)
PIN THE BABY ON THE DADDY
- Make a dummy by stuffing clothes with news paper and propping him up (I use a microphone stand to good effect, see the picture above)
- Get a plastic ‘cupie’ style baby doll at a craft store.
- Tie string around the baby’s foot, with a safety pin affixed to the other side.
- Blind fold your guests and spin them around.
- The object is to pin the string to the dummy so that the baby dangles closest to the dolls ‘baby maker’.
- Award a prize to the person who gets the baby closest
WHITE TRASH GIFT EXCHANGE
Have each guest bring 3 wrapped gifts to the party
- The rules for these gifts are as follows:
- Each gift must cost $3 or less each
- Each gift must be purchased at a gas station
- Place all gifts into a large plastic trash bag
- Everyone reaches into the sack and pulls out three gifts to be unwrapped in front of everyone
- In years past, the wrapping has been quite creative; tin foil, news paper, toilet paper and even colored saran wrap
With these tips in mind, you’re ready for a heartwarming holiday event.
Just make sure your double wide has room for any overnight guests who are in no condition to drive their rusting pick up trucks home.
Technorati Tags: christmas party, how to throw a christmas party, christmas party ideas, christmas party games, game ideas, rock and roll, cheap beer
At the end, everyone pile into the back of a pickup truck, and go down to coyote ugly.
Roscoe P Cotrain concurs, Cerveny. YEEEE HAW!
We’ve been doing these WT Xmas parties for years. Your games are great. One year we did a scavenger hunt, that was a good game, but it’s all about the gift exchange. Your Gas Station requirement for the gift is hilarious. We also have people bring food and vote for “Most creative use of Spam”, “Best dressed”, etc.
[...] Urban Monarch: d.i.y. white trash party “Literally, my place was at the end of a dirt road. I don’t know if it was the surroundings, or just chronic boredom that drove me to throw my first WT Christmas party, but in the years that followed I think I practically perfected this particular brand of soiree.” [...]
We have an annual white trash party, We always have a twinky eating contest and prizes for “best use of lycra” and “outfit most likely came from your own closet”
bedubya: “outfit most likely came from your own closet”
Classic!
One good addition to our “ugly sweater” christmas parties has been the “mustache station”, where guests, upon arrival, can get themselves gussied up with a nasty molester-stache. We have a variety, from the packaged kind, to over-the-top furry handlebars (just furry material, applied with eyelash adhesive). Good stuff, mang!