11 Responses to “Charging Your Girlfriend Rent”  

1. 1 Jess on May 6th, 2008 said:

   Half the utilities for sure, and I would say half the mortgage. Unless I’m engaged or married, ain’t no woman gettin’ no’ easy ride on my behalf. Consider the costs of things you’ve already paid for which she will garner enjoyment and use from: Furniture, flatware, decor, etc.

   I’m all for being individually capable when it comes to financing and budgeting and whatnot. It will make her a stronger/better person. Once you take the “joint bank account” and/or marriage step, it may be time to re-evaluate the finances in favor of paying off those loans ;).

   Another thing to consider (regardless of amount charged) would be to put that extra money she would give you every month into some form of high-yield savings (or other investment) account, and do not succumb to the temptation to let your lifestyle expand into the money saved. This will make a perfect emergency fund (if you don’t already have one already), and if you two ever got married, that money would still be there to share.

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   Apologies for the derail, but I’ve recently found a little happy spot for getting my financial life on track, and it’s a damn good feeling I like to share!

2. 2 goat on May 6th, 2008 said:

   hmmm, mixin finances. always a problem the second time was worse than the first. my only advice: both go through some extremely stressful situation together first. see how each other react and if you can tolerate how you handle that first. dealt with more than i care to bad setups in the past. so i may be a bit gun shy, but i’m super tolerant of other people’s bullshit, way more than most, to a fault per se. just make sure you go into this with your eyes open and no matter how self sacrifiing you are with your own little bit of selfishness… regardless, best of luck however it is.

3. 3 Brad on May 6th, 2008 said:

   Hell yeah, you charge her rent. It would be insane not to. She’s saving money by moving out of her old place, right? Even if you don’t want to charge half, you definitely charge something. And half of the utilities. Believe me, those will add up with a 2nd person in the home. If she’s taking care of things in the home for you then sure, give her a discount.

4. 4 Bob P. on May 7th, 2008 said:

   Absolutely. Girlfriend or not, she’s an adult and she’s got a job. split it just like you would any other room mate.

   Sugar Daddys get no respect.

5. 5 Nate on May 7th, 2008 said:

   Typically speaking, if it were anyone other than someone you were having a potential life-partner type of situation with, I’d say go ahead and charge a full share of rent - noting, of course, that that does not always mean half the mortgage.

   But I have found that one of the things that undermines relationships is a disparity of power - and money has a lot to do with that. I’d advise looking at your finances together and determining what your overall burden is, including student loans, mortgages, bills and other things. Then split that evenly. What it means is that you might be giving her a bit lighter a ride than someone else might get (or a heavier one if your burden is heavier), but you’re also showing you can operate in an equal partnership full of nice, juicy, communication.

   Girlfriends are not a business relationship. One hopes.

6. 6 Jillian on May 7th, 2008 said:

   Yes, she should pay. She would be paying rent on her own place whether she was living with you or not. But since you brought up the point of her having to pay off a hefty student loan, perhaps at a discounted rate? If she was paying 600 on her last place, maybe “charge” 400. Or another option is to look around the neighborhood, find out what rent would be like for a place similar to yours and then go about figuring out a price for her. But I wouldn’t use the word “charge”. It doesn’t sit well with anyone in a relationship. And then split the utilities half and half. Or one month you get them, the next month she does. Everyone has a student loan, or a car payment, or a house payment, or is in debt. It’s time to start being and acting like an adult and paying your own way.

   Now if you are engaged and both of your incomes are going into the same bucket, then it is different because the rent or mortgage comes out of the same fund. But if you are separate then each has to pay their own way.

   Jess- Most woman don’t come into a relationship or new home without their own furniture, flatware, décor… So saying that we would garner enjoyment from it might be a little much. I don’t think one should charge her for use of things he might have bought for his own use. But I do like your idea of using the money that you didn’t have before and putting it into a high yield savings or stocks.

   Brad- “If she’s taking care of things in the home for you then sure, give her a discount.” That’s just classic. And I agree. Paying for some of her services. Ha.

   Nate- Nicely put.

7. 7 GBUK on May 7th, 2008 said:

   look at both your disposable incomes (after tax + loans) and split the rent accordingly (if you have $2000 and she has $1000, she might have to pay 1/3 and you 2/3 for instance)… no need to be absolutely precise, it is just a matter of principle.

   also, don’t forget to review this when your (or her) financial situation changes

8. 8 Cash on May 7th, 2008 said:

   Holy cow.. so many good comments I wouldn’t know where to begin agreeing.

   Here’s a few of my favorite quotes:

   Jess: “I’m all for being individually capable when it comes to financing and budgeting and whatnot. It will make her a stronger/better person.”

   Brad: “Hell yeah, you charge her rent. It would be insane not to. She’s saving money by moving out of her old place, right?”

   Bob P (your entire comment rawked) “Absolutely. Girlfriend or not, she’s an adult and she’s got a job. split it just like you would any other room mate.

   Sugar Daddys get no respect”

   -SHO NUFF!

   Jillian: “Yes, she should pay. She would be paying rent on her own place whether she was living with you or not. But since you brought up the point of her having to pay off a hefty student loan, perhaps at a discounted rate?”

   One question here; how in the hell should her student loan effect what Greg does or does not pay? Granted, you go on to say that:

   “Everyone has a student loan, or a car payment, or a house payment, or is in debt. It’s time to start being and acting like an adult and paying your own way.”

   So I’ll let the ‘discounted rate’ thing slide

   I guess a question right off the bat would be; when you were in New Orleans, did she make you pay rent?

   Hmm..

   EQUALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS: NOT JUST FOR EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT ANYMORE.

9. 9 Miss Jones on May 7th, 2008 said:

   ?!?!?!? Hell to the YES!
   Every college grad has a significant amount of debt and the cost of living is a part of life.

   You answered your own question by saying “she has a good job”. She needs to listen to beyonce and sing “all the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me…”

   Believe it or not chicks like to pay. A split on utilities and room is more than reasonable. One person should never carry the full load.

   You should listen to Tom Leykis. He’d just ask why you were having a girl live with you in the first place…

10. 10 Telan on May 8th, 2008 said:

    Nate brings up a good point, and one I’ve broken up with men before over, though not specifically on rent. Yes, you should be charged and expect to be charged rent. But don’t make a big deal about it, and don’t make money the issue. Making money the main issue or problem in a relationship is the fastest way to make someone, girlfriend or not, dislike you.

11. 11 MarcJ on May 20th, 2008 said:

    No, you don’t charge her rent…. You are in this together and you share expenses. For me it was easier to have my girlfriend (now wife) pay for utilities, phone, etc while I payed the rent/mortgage. Also, to make it fare we payed the same % of our income into the shared expenses. This has worked for us for 10 years…..

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