I like insulting people.  It appears as if I’m in good company with angry aussie.  He has created a list of insults with wit, grabbing quotes of famous leaders and thinkers.  A few of my favorites.
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time in reading it.”
Moses Hadas

A new book promises to deliver the “O” face within two weeks, even if she’s never had one before.

Researchers have compiled an exhaustive list of the reasons that men and women have sex.  237 lines later, they realize we have the same motivations between the sexes.
College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex — they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and “it feels [...]

With UM’s resident ’sexpert’ Greg out of the UM offices for a few days during his move, it’s my duty to share a great piece on the current season’s role in sexy time.

Far be it from us to hoard all the Las Vegas perks.  It’s time to let our readers in on some of the action.

Just got good news from the VIP host at Pure…  They’ve invited Urban Monarch to come check out their Tuesday night.  We’ll post reviews and photos tomorrow.

I haven’t paid a cover charge at a ‘gentlemen’s club’ in close to a year. Most likely, I’ll never have to again, at least not here in Denver.  Why?  I’ve learned a few tricks of the trade for saving moolah at the house of jiggles.  From cover charges, to drinks, food and beyond, Urban Monarch [...]

It’s official. UM has been around for a whole year. In that time, authors have come and gone, features have been featured, and plenty of alcohol, grooming products, and fiber bars have been sampled.
I’m quite proud of the work we do here @ UM, but on this important occasion I thought it would be [...]

One day a package filled with the full fragrance line from Tommy Bahama made it to Urban Monarch’s door step. Our first inclination was to inspect and review each individually but then we came up with a rather ingenious method of product reviews. We would test out the fragrances on the desired audience [...]

On a recent Friday night, after sampling the fare at both the First Friday Art Walk and a great (albeit sloooow service) Ethiopian restaurant, Glenn and I found ourselves at one of our favorite clubs.  Before finishing my first PBR, I was chatting with a fetching young woman in black.  The conversation was casual, and [...]

A few  years ago I decided to start talking to more people.  After a lot of reading and experimenting I’ve picked up a few tricks.  It’s not uncommon for one of my shier friends to ask for advice on how to make small talk.  Now, thanks to lifehack, I’ve got a good resource to point [...]

My new Thai Wife. Her name is Paa. She is 19, 105lbs, and stacks in at a meager 5′4″. According to her profile…
She lives with her parents.
She is fun, happy, pretty and out going.
She likes to sing songs and swimming
She would like to meet a honest, sincere man.
She would like to have children
Too [...]

Neil Strauss demonstrating the art of extraction. Suede nightclub, Scottsdale, Arizona.

If there’s one thing we here at UM headquarters are constantly experimenting with, it’s the effect of alcohol on our social pursuits. Unlike most old school ‘purists’ in the socializing realm, we advocate having a few drinks to loosen up and enjoy the experience (pretty much any experience) more. After a year and [...]

It’s no mystery that I enjoy paying homage at the altar of the three b’s: booze, blackjack and beautiful girls.  For this reason alone, Las Vegas has long been a temple in the desert for my vice driven ways. 
Believe it or not though, there are many other worthwhile pursuits in Sin City (and they’re probably [...]

I have a hard and fast rule against dating at work.  Now.  This enlightenment was the result of a one part torrid, two parts tragic affair that ended in my resigning from a company to distance myself from the situation.
How about you intrepid Urban Monarch romeos?
If you have any funny / disturbing tales of office romance [...]

This is more in the series of amatuer urban contemporary.  J. Nash and J. Stalin bring you Cupcakin’ (definition).  A piece celebrating love by demonstrating date planning and proper girlfriend ettiquette…
Ohhh…
Friday we can bowl
Ohhh…
Saturday we can cruise around the O
Ohhh…
Sunday we can go to church
And when you need me to
I’ll pick you up after work
via [...]

One day a waitress gave me her phone number.  We set up a tentative time to go have drinks.  I made a date with another girl for later that evening.  I still intended to meet her early for happy hour, but she was angered that I didn’t save the whole night for her and declined [...]

Smoothly escalating physical contact is an important element of socializing.  If you haven’t gone near a girl for three hours and then move in for a kiss at the end of the night, it’s gonna be awkward.  As Eric Von Markovic wisely says; your first kiss will likely be your last.
According to a recent study, [...]

Zen Habit has a new guide out, 50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap.  The guide informs that the primary goal isn’t to save money, it’s to keep a relationship fresh on a regular basis.  Cash will be exceptionally fond of the recommendations for weekly dates, although I think it’s assuming you are seeing [...]

I was hesitant to link this video because, well, it’s a lot of bullshit. And Josh creeps me out a little. However, you avid socializers out there will probably benefit from tidbits like “Elvis was originally blonde” and “The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years.”