Presenting; “F**k Raffle”
Sponsored by web-vid heavy hitters like Penthouse, Brazzers, and Digital Playground (now streaming the real Humpty Dance), FRaffle’s the world’s first raffle offering 10 lucky winners their very own steamy session with the vixen (or vixman!) of their choosing. Victors’ll be winged to LA for a six-night stay, which (following a quick disease [...]

“You don’t plan to fail, you fail to plan.”
Thanks to Collin for sharing this in response to my ‘dream job’ post awhile back.

When I was in high school, I knew two girls who were avid PETA supporters. 
One of their favorite Saturday night activities was to visit Osco Drug with a bunch of “Animals Were Tortured In the Making Of This Product” stickers and affix them to ‘naughty’ cosmetic products known to do animal testing.
Apparently, there is a [...]

One of the best days of the year.  Don’t waste it.

I recently received an instant message from an unknown friend. He said that I’ve been on his list for a long time. We figured it out was from somewhere around 8 years ago. He described himself as “tall, scrawny, and awkward.” After we realized we wouldn’t remember each other he bid [...]

Sometimes I wonder if planes really take me anywhere.  I’ve driven from Michigan to Colorado, so I’m pretty sure that these two places exist and are significantly far apart from each other.  Aside from this, everything else is up for grabs.  When I get on a plane and end up somewhere exotic, I tend to [...]

Redken recently sent along their new line of ‘minis’; travel / gym bag sized versions of their top 4 selling products.
Over the last week, I put them to the test.

So in my ongoing quest to keep you up to date on the best ways to spend your drinking dollars in Denver, I decided to share an email I sent to my good friend Donnie.
It concerns Bar Standard (see my original review here) and their new Sunday afternoon patio parties:

How I’ve gone xx years without attending the annual AVN awards is beyond me.
Porn.  Las Vegas.  Two of my favorite dishes- served together piping hot.
You can be damn sure I’ll try to pimp my UM credentials for a ahem, closer view.
Stay tuned.
photo via Fleshbot Flickr

We’ve been busy working on a massive overhaul of Urban Monarch.  We’ve got a new logo, a new design, and whole slew of new content we’ll be bringing out in the near future.  As part of our renovation plan, we want to rewrite the About Us page.  We’ve realized it doesn’t really have anything about [...]

One thing I miss about being a kid is climbing all over the jungle gym at the playground.  For some reason,they tend to frown upon grown men doing that.  Luckily, there’s Parkour.

If anyone reading UM isn’t already familiar with Despair.com you’re officially grounded.
Despair’s been providing biting ‘demotivational’ posters that counter all that Successory style bullsh1t you’ve probably seen taped up in your director’s office.
Now, they’ve taken their great idea further:  D.I.Y. demotivational posters, like my brilliant contribution shown above.
Create your poster, email it to friends, or even [...]

Judging by overheard conversations on the “0″ bus, it can be hard to tell.

Feel free to leave a comment with the story you wish was here.

Lately, I’ve found myself ruminating over how bored I am at work.  I have no passion for my job whatsoever.  Thankfully, I have several outside projects (UM included) that truly motivate me and will someday liberate me from the soul crushing world of corporate America.
Several years ago, it would have been hard to believe it’s [...]

I’ve always been skeptical of tanning before tropical vacations.  Wary of the warning that any uv caused skin discoloration is bad, I have stayed away. After a few adventures where I found myself sunburned after not applying sun-block every 30-60 minutes, I’m now thinking a base tan would have been a better choice.  Granted, a [...]

This is my mantra of the day.
I can apply it to so many things, which I won’t list here.  Use your imaginations.
In other news; when you live in Hawaii; where do you honeymoon?  I should probably ask our good friends Cory & Emily.
Although I haven’t been able to get a definite answer out of Greg (who’s [...]

Tim Ferris talks alot about Pareto’s 80/20 rule; 80% of output is created by 20% of input.
I’ve been thinking about this in a variety of aspects of my life and I’ve figured something out; the 20% of my time spent commuting and racing around getting ready for work is responsible for 80% of my stress.
Commuting [...]

 
Between my pineapple/banana headdress and bra made out of coconuts, I think I’m discovering my true self.

To all the fallen servicemen and women who’ve helped keep America free for this long, thank you; our gratitude is great.

Currently I’ve loaned my apartment out to my friend’s younger sister.  It came with a few rules.

Be courteous of the neighbor downstairs
Watch out for stains on the concrete counter tops
No weird (descriptive removed) sex on my sofa

Did I miss anything?