Camping For Beginners

“You can’t be serious.”

This was the response from almost everyone I know when I told them I was going camping for a good friend’s birthday. It was somewhat of a shock to my system as well. Prior to this past weekend, my experience with camping was limited to several amazing trips in a high school friend’s luxury RV. Between the bunk beds with down comforters, satellite television, fully stocked kitchen and shower, we weren’t exactly ‘roughing it’. This time around, when Zach mentioned honest to goodness tents and ‘really, really warm clothes’, I knew I was in for an exciting time.

I was also in for an education. For those of you who’ve spent more than the occasional afternoon in the woods, much of this may seem like common sense. For anyone who considers themselves “camping impaired” (like me), hopefully it will prove helpful for your next trek outdoors.

5 Things I’m Glad We / I Had With Us

1. Experienced campers.

Though the comedic possibilities inherent in taking a trip like this with nothing but my uber-urban clan (I’m looking at you Greg, Glenn, Miguel and Sean) are endless - “Whaddaya mean the fire pit doesn’t have an on/off switch??”; safety and comfort would be sacrificed. Luckily, two members of our group were seasoned outdoorsmen who watched out for the rest of us and showed us the ropes. From finding the ideal spot in a secluded valley (at the end of two long, winding dirt roads near Wolcott - about 40 minutes past Vail) to recognizing a pending storm (that materialized out of thin air) and suggesting we get back to the campsite in a hurry, they definitely made life easier.

2. MP3 player + portable speakers

If there’s a more serene experience than laying on your back in the middle of a sun soaked field, watching the clouds roll by while drinking beer, eating sunflower seeds and listening to the Postal Service, well, I’ve yet to find it.

3. Cast Iron Cookware

Perfect for open fire cooking, and easy to clean with boiling water, Zach’s skillet and sauce pan handled everything from cheesy brats to smores (the sudden rainstorm prevented finding sticks, so the whole gooey, delicious mess - including peanut butter, was sizzled up in the pan and eaten fondue style with our graham crackers). Try that with your fancy Teflon.

4. A Dog

Fritz, Zach’s giant snauser was the perfect camping companion. Scouting out trails, keeping watch over the site as we slept, and just basically going insane with the delight of a kid on Christmas morning the entire time kept us all entertained. Possibly less entertaining? The chore of cleaning that mud covered beast once they got him home. Get to work Katy!

5. A Good Sleeping Bag

A mid-evening downpour forced us all to take refuge in our tents for awhile. This part of the trip found me enjoying both some Old Grandad’s Whiskey AND the warm comfort of my 0 degree sleeping bag (a random gift from my parents several moons ago). After a brief break in the storm that allowed us to get our campfire dinner on, the rain returned. The deluge, unlike anything I’ve seen in ages, with a driving, icy wind besides, once again made me grateful for my mummy bag.

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5 Things I Wish We’d / I’d Had With Us

1. Chairs

Zach was smart enough to bring a sweet combination backpack / camping chair that served him well. For the rest of us? We had to improvise. Sturdy Coleman coolers make great chairs. Sticky, sap covered tree roots (that you don’t notice are covered in sap (and beetles) until you’ve sat down in it), do not. My sickly sweet sap covered ass was probably a bear beacon all weekend.

2. A Sleeping Mat / Air Mattress

Toasty warm though I was in my sleeping bag, nothing could have prepared me for the spine altering attack of the rock hard, uneven ground beneath my tent. That I slept at all is more a testament to the high proof whiskey in my veins and utter exhaustion after a day’s worth of hiking than it is to the comfort of my tent. Even a thin mat would have worked wonders; a full on air mattress would have made the whole experience positively posh.

3. Personal Snack Supply In My Tent

Even though I ate plenty at dinner, by midnight or so my stomach was growling. Sadly, the aforementioned torrential downpour prohibited even a quick run to the cooler for a bite. My kingdom for a bag of beef jerky, Doritos or pretzels. Next time, I’ll have some sustenance in my tent at all times.

4. A Compass

We almost got lost returning from our first hike. A compass could have come in handy then, and would have been a cool toy to have around regardless.

5. A Girlfriend

This one may or may not be self explanatory. I for one can think of better ways to spend time in a tent than drinking whiskey and trying to figure out if the crunching sound outside is in fact a sap addicted bear looking to score.

A Few Final Thoughts

Tent Location

When we first arrived at the campsite, Ben, one of the outdoorsy types on hand immediately started setting up his gear beneath a canopy of trees. Zach and the others quickly did the same, and before I knew it, I was left with a spot with no natural protection from the elements. Not the best situation when the monsoon came.

Tent Rental

One thing that always kept me from considering camping (besides no car to drive to the mountains) was the lack of a tent / camping gear. It turns out REI rents not only easy to assemble (even for me) tents (around $20 total each for the weekend I think) but all sorts of other supplies as well.

Bottled Water

One indispensable item on the trip proved to be the 24 pack of bottled waters Zach brought. We also had a large water dispenser with a tap that proved helpful for rinsing our hands off, etc. However you decide to hydrate, make sure you have plenty of fresh water on hand.

Pillows

Bring more than you think you’ll need. TGFK. Thank God for Katy, who saved me from a pillow-less (and unimaginably uncomfortable) fate.

Check Your Tent Before Bed

In the sunny afternoon warmth, with a bit of help from Zach, I was able to get my tent set up in less than 10 minutes. It was all together, ready to rock. What I didn’t realize is that in the gusty winds that preceded the overnight storm, one flap of my tent had been blown back, exposing the mesh ‘window’ beneath. Also exposing the inside of my tent to a small puddle. Thankfully, the water stayed to one side. Nobody likes sleeping in the wet spot.

Overall, a magnificent weekend. Next time, I’ll be even better prepared to enjoy the great outdoors.

Now I’ll leave it up to you, UM readers. What other tips / advice do you suggest for first time campers?