This is a repost from July 2006

Being a regular earns you a lot of benefits for only a few conscious behaviors, mostly just good manners. Visit frequently, follow these tips, and within a short amount of time, you’re in.

Wikipedia describes a regular as…

A person who appears often at a certain location and may know others who are also there often, whether out of want or occupation. For example, a regular can be one who goes to a certain coffee shop everyday, so often that the employees know him or her.

Benefits of being a regular

• Ability to order special items (out of season, non menu)
• Immediate seating
• Complimentary drinks / desserts
• Discounts
• Recognition and social proof
• Dependable location to entertain guests / meet up with friends
• Warmly received and well respected by staff
• Having the server bring you the ‘regular’

How to become a regular

• Visit the same restaurant three times in the first month, then once a month ongoing. These are minimums, visit more if you like.
• Use your name and theirs. Hi [server], my name is [me]…
• Use the restaurant for a party, catering, or other service.
• Bring new friends (customers) and introduce them. Use this as an opportunity to stay in touch friends.
• Tip 20% on the total bill (tax, drinks, everything) and round up to the nearest dollar.
• Tip the same percentage, don’t over tip unless you plan to do it every time. (Over tipping is not necessary. )
• Tip on free benefits, or you won’t receive them anymore.
• Treat servers as if they have more knowledge of the menu items than you , because they do.
• Work with the same knowledge set as the restaurant. (Know what sushi is hip and what is pop, what dishes are authentic and which are americanized)
• Inquire about and order house/chef specialties.
• Don’t ask for the owner if you don’t know him.
• Don’t make 8 pm reservations, a restaurant wants to seat at least two people during dinner hours.
• If you ask for advice take it. Don’t ask what the server recommends if you know you want pasta.
• If you order a nice bottle of wine, ask the server if they would like to sample it. They may decline, but the gesture makes an impression.
• Say please when ordering. May i please have the…
• Say thank you when receiving service.
• Throw out expectations for dish preparations. Each chef has a unique interpretation on that meal.
• Stick to your reservations. If you are going to be more than 15 minutes late, call. Cancel as soon as you know.
• Respect their dress code, because they will respect you by not bringing up your failure to meet it.
• Turn off your cell phone while dining.
• If you’re the only one left after a group of regulars, it’s time to move on.
• Be sympathetic of busy times, understand it’s not always like that, and you will benefit in the long haul.
• Don’t banter with the wait staff when they are hurried.
• Wrap up conversations quickly when the server approaches the table.
• Communicate. If you have a question or if you need something, ask. If you only have an hour to eat, let them know a head of time.
• Save waitstaff unnecessary trips.
• Smile and be friendly.

Above all, it’s just about being there on a regular basis. Being courteous and social just accelerates the process.

Resources

• How to be treated like a regular
• Top 10 points of restaurant etiquette
• Your Guide To Dining Etiquette
• At your service
• Tips for the Savvy and Sophisticated Diner
• 43 things - Become a regular somewhere
• I even found a yet to be published book with a chapter entitled: How to be a regular - or get the perks like one. The Mere Mortal’s Guide to Fine Dining

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