Best of 2006: Fashion for Geeks - Why bother?

This is a repost from August 2006.

This is the first in a series of articles to help geeks become a bit more fashionable. If you’re a fellow geek or nerd, why care about fashion anyways?

Women, duh.

Let’s face it, the standard work uniform of dockers and a freebie OSCON polo isn’t very attractive to women. Of course you’re probably thinking, “Women shouldn’t care about that kind of stuff! It’s so superficial! I’m a nerd and value intellect and creativity in women, so why can’t it be the same for their attraction to me?”

Truth be told, a quality woman does appreciate your intellect and creativity. However, you need to understand something about women that you (and even they) may not be aware of.

Women are extremely socially conscious and aware. For better or worse, our culture and mass media has hammered it over and over into women’s heads that they always need to look good, and they should always be striving to look better.

You see, women rate themselves on a “social value hierarchy” of sorts. Women unconsciously compete with other women for higher “social value,” and they have a good idea of where they stand when comparing themselves to other women. So, anything that makes them have more social value (i.e. more status in the eyes of other women) is something they want. And you can be sure that anything subtracting from their social value is bothering them, and they wish it would change.

This may not make logical sense to you, but what I’ve said is true regarding most women you’ll meet.

Disclaimer: Do not chat up women and accuse them of being superficial social value seekers — disaster will ensue. Most women aren’t consciously aware of this stuff and would deny it anyways. Consider it a secret that you’re being let in on.

Now, how does all this apply to the great nerd that is so worthy of a cool girlfriend, but can’t seem to attract one? We’ll get to that shortly, but let’s take a moment and talk about Natalie Portman.

I knew you wouldn’t mind.

I think Natalie is great, as many nerds do. Smart, cute, fun… what’s not to like? But, I also think part of why we like her is we can see her appreciating and possibly dating a nerd. She’s not a “typical girl” — it’s unlikely she’s attracted to beefy moron guys who look pretty all day.

Okay, so Natalie Portman might date a nerd. Now, I want you to visualize something in your head. Picture a guy dressed in his pleated dockers and OSCON polo, and standing beside him, holding his hand, is Natalie Portman. They’re a couple. Picture it now.

Hmmmm… that does seem outside the realm of possibility, doesn’t it?

Now, imagine the same exact guy, still holding hands with Natalie Portman, but this time he’s dressed in clothes from Urban Outfitters.

Hmmmm… now we’re getting somewhere, aren’t we?

It’s the same exact guy (a ruby-hacking AJAX-luvin’ web nerd for all we care), but one picture seems outright ludicrous, while the other is at least possible.

The thing is, this visualization applies to almost all women you’re attracted to, not just our dear Natalie. If a woman were to date a guy who dresses poorly, it would substantially subtract from her social value. She might think he’s a great guy, but you can be sure she’s thinking, “If only he dressed a bit nicer…” But a guy who dresses smartly, that elevates her social value when she’s out in public: Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

By now you may be wondering, “What the hell does this Glenn guy know about women anyways? Why should I listen to what he says?” Well, I asked my friend Becca for her thoughts on this. Here’s what she has to say:

Unfortunately, however pathetic, superficial, and menial these comments and interpretations seem, they are true, if even on a subconscious level for ALL women.

However, most women when asked these questions, will deny them whole heartedly for fear that they will be viewed as material or judgmental. Most women do not realize the deep-rooted social brainwashing that occurs in them from the time that they are little girls.

I would like to suggest that by making efforts to dress in ways that women consider appropriate or even attractive, men will create a situation in which they may be appreciated for who they truly are. If a woman looks at a man and his appearance bothers her in any way, she will obsess (if even subconsciously) about his appearance, and neglect the amazing intellect or personality of the individual.

By working on appearance, men are actually allowing women to see a complete self, unmasked by the barriers of thoughtless clothing.

There you have it, in a much more lucid and succinct form than my ramblings.

So you’ve got two options.

1. Continue to think, “Screw fashion — women shouldn’t care about that stuff but just like me for who I am.” AKA, stay in denial.

or

2. Accept the reality of the situation now that you have an understanding of it, and take some very basic and easy steps to improve your look. AKA, getting a girlfriend!

I hope you choose option two, because future articles are going to show you what to do, step-by-step. The subculture of geeks and nerds is filled with great guys who deserve cute, fun girlfriends — and not having simple fashion basics is a huge roadblock to that. The next article will cover the first and most important step. If you’ve got great clothes but don’t have this handled, you’ll simply look foolish. See you soon!

Thanks to: Becca, for candidly sharing her thoughts in a public forum. And my former employer, Apple, for all the free OS X shirts.