back off, cupid

I’m not a Valentine’s day athiest by any means.

I for one have had some amazing Valentines (you know who you are, southern belle).

Still, I can’t help but sympathize with the notion that it’s a manufactured holiday designed to seperate men’s wallets from the currency within.

To this end, I have to give credit to some Chicago area bakeries (and toy shops, wait until you make the jump) for having an appropriate sense of humor about it.

Alliance Bakery for instance, is featuring some cookies I can relate to:

A closer look, however, reveals an unexpected message, scrawled in looping sugar: “I love you when I’m drunk.”

The brutally honest message heart is layered between other cookies that read, “My parole is up” and “Lose my number.”

Across town, be sure to check out your sweet tooth’s other options:

Michelle Garcia, owner of the Bleeding Heart Bakery, 2018 W. Chicago Ave., in Ukrainian Village, is selling bright pink heart cookies — with gaping stab wounds.

Finally, file this under furry fun for everyone:

Neighboring store Rotofugi, a designer toy store and gallery at 1953 W. Chicago Ave., in East Village, is selling miniature cigarette-smoking vinyl rabbits in bondage gear. “Punishment arrives just in time for Valentine’s Day,” reads a Web site promoting the sale of the devious little animals ($15.95 retail).

Ahhh, the sweet smell of romance.. and S&M.

via Chicago Sun Times

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