30 second socializer: how to enter a room
May 16, 2007 by Cash
“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
It’s an age old cliche, but it still holds true, perhaps nowhere more so than in a club/bar situation. Why? As you step into a room, you become a suddenly dynamic element in a previously static environment. This translates into one thing; people noticing you. If your goal is to meet women, their immediate reaction to your arrival can mean smooth sailing, or disaster.
Over the last year or so, I’ve absorbed a lot of information on the subject of socializing. Here are six simple steps to help improve your initial impact on a room.
1. Smile.
When you walk through the door, the performance begins. A smile conveys confidence, a relaxed mood, and the desire not only to have fun-but the ability to bring it with you.
2. Stay focused on your friends.
The number one way to make women curious about you is to imply that you are the most fun group in the crowd. Scanning the room to “scope out the babes” (gag!) conveys a desire to be somewhere else. The party should be with you, and showing your attention is on the cool people you’re with should always convey that.
3. Try to talk to a stranger within 3 seconds of arriving.
It may be a beautiful girl you’ve been looking for your whole life. It may be an elderly couple having a glass of wine before the theatre. It doesn’t matter. The point here is to convey to everyone else that you are a *social* person capable of mingling with the crowd.
4. Be physically expressive with your face AND hands.
Drawing attention to yourself is crucial. There is a saying, I believe attributed to Eric Von Markovic: “There are two types of people in a room, the ones being watched, and the ones watching”. You want to be the former. Have fun with your friends and be sure your expressions convey it.
5. Make sure your eyes and head move together.
A nervous man’s eyes will dart back and forth when scanning a room, always on the look out for perceived danger. A confident, “alpha” guy’s eyes and head move in tandem, slowly. He is relaxed, enjoying the scene as if he were hosting a party at his place. Practice this in a mirror to notice the difference, it definitely shows.
6. Never stand in a circle.
Keeping an open formation allows people to approach you if they’re so inclined. If you’ve followed these steps, they just might be.
This article is part of a series. Be sure to check out: Part I, Part II
Readers: Any other advice for those first few moments after coming through the door? Comment below.
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Ever since cash shared this rule with me, I’ve loved it:
Stay focused on your friends.
Not only does this improve your social momentum, it also puts the focus where it should be. You’re out having a good time with your friends, not scoping out cooler people to hang out with.